I am only vaguely familiar with this promotion. I have been following their stuff for years, from a distance, but I have never actually watched a complete show. I have seen what they offered at #Rawalternative (which I am glad that they are at the forefront of), but coming into this almost totally raw is definitely interesting. I love how the introduction/beginning of this show is just swearing/rowdy as hell. There's a lot of charm in how filthy/crass/and how generally chaotic this is.
Match 1: Dirty Buxx Belmar vs. Dave Cole
*Belmar has some ugly ass tattoos, but I don't know if these are actually real.
*"The dirtiest dick in all of wrestling", cock maneuvers galore.
*WAIT is Belmar rubbing a condom on his dick? WHAT AM I WATCHING?
*A CONDOM REVERSAl. RUBBERS TO THE CROWD.
*Belmar has a finisher called The Rape, I don't know how I feel about that. It's a pretty cool move but shit.
*MORE CONDOMS FROM Belmar. Diet Hep-C(Si) is a pretty funny move name.
*So Belmar wins with a finger in the throat move, that's interesting.
*A pretty decent opener with a good mix of "comedy" and high spots. Didn't flow too decently as an actual match, but the spots that were done connected well enough with the crowd.
Match 2: Fluffy The Killer vs. Leon St. Giovanni
*So, is Fluffy the Killer a cat? Oh no, it's the rabbit guy - that makes more sense, but he is managed by a cat guy apparently. Of course as any stereotypical killer gimmick that exsists he decides to go with the always devastating ring gear of "Scrubs".
*Is Leon St. Giovanni the guy with the fantastic mustache? I also didn't catch his managers name but he is wearing this pretty great vest. I think it's John Hart?. That seems about right.
*I wonder what this fluffy guy is billed as, he is a huge dude.
*NO A MUSTACHE GOT RIPPED OFF. And now Fluffy attached it to himself.
*I love how Fluffy completely whiffs this dropkick. Fluffy goes for another move/flip from the apron to the inside, again whiffs. I like how this rabbit seems to have a lot of spirit even if he doesn't seem to be the most technical of wrestlers.
*Giovanni pulls out an Easter basket and snaps a chocolate Easter bunny in half. This is ridiculous but in the best of ways. And now Fluffy is doing the standard hulking up part of the match.
*Fluffy's ask deserves some kind of appreciation. I don't know what this appreciation is, but I think it's because they simultaneously pull of both hideous and happy as looks of the rabbit.
*Fluffy wins the match with what might be one of the sloppiest finishing moves that I have seen. I seriously don't even know what move they were trying to go for, and then his manager comes into the ring and begins coddling him. Well alright then.
Match 3: Lucky Sabiti vs. Gran Akuma
*Oh no, Steven the Turtle is on commentary. This could be bad.
*I know him from his days of "Chikara" - WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?
*Gran Akuma looks dumber with hair. God bless the guy in the crowd who yelled "BABY HAIR"
*Akuma kind of looks like a badass. And this match is surprisingly more technical than I expected so far.
*God damn Akuma just delivered one sweet and fierce top rope dropkick to Sabiti's head.
*There is still the overwhelming feeling that they are just going through "moves" without a lot of flow. And I hate that I'm critiquing that. Because ultimately this match is pretty cool so far.
*That sequence where they do about 7 pinfall attempts in a row is ridiculous.
*That kickout from the Akuma Driver, fuck yes.
*Akuma ends up winning, but still Sabiti looks like a boss. I definitely am interested in seeing more of his matches and more of this pairig in the future.
*Weiner was at least tolerable, if not all and all solid in that match calling.
Match 4: Sexxxy Eddie vs. The Craiglist Homo
*Any introduction where you are introduced as having five pounds of cock is pretty cool, I also like how the lady coming out of the bathroom has poor timing with things, but Sexxxy Eddie just says screw that I will incorporate her into what I'm doing.
*These commentaries need to learn to shut up when the wrestlers are beginning their promos or not even talk during these parts. Like, I get where you are trying to be edgy but give the wrestlers their space.
*I kind of like everything about Sexxy Eddiee and how he brings a lady into the ring to strip him/deal with his gimmick/get dry humped. This rules in so many ways.
*I have only heard of The Craiglist Homo. Actually seeing this guy's gimmick is definitely something different. Ha, this rules - they are mimicking Sexxxy Eddie's entrance but with a dude instead. Tic for tac.
*Craiglist Homo seems to be the face/fan favorite in this match. I did not expect that, but I can't say that I disagree that he should be the favorite.
*Crowd solidly behind Homo. I wish I knew why exactly people were so behind this character. Is it because he is with one of the Gladd guys? Or is it just because his character is so "open"/transparent? If it's that, that's pretty cold for sure.
*The Gas Pedal, which is essentially a foot to your nut move is something.
*This match kind of suffers by going back to a heavy comedy basis, since it followed the last match which was mostly technical wrestling back. But The Craiglist Homo is grasping Eddy's dick and making him fade and I can't hate where this is going. It's ridiculous and Eddy is harnessing his dick power.
*Gladd Badd NO! Sexxxy Eddy's dick is probably being ruined. (This is hilarious)
*All three men are blown away by the power of DICKS.
*Did the Craiglist Homo just spray some kind of lube on himself?
*These spots where they are like holding each other while "Time of My Life" was playing rule.
*Ass punches! & Couples!
*That finisher seemed to just come out of nowhere, which is something that I never like. Wish there was some more build up to that.
*Some lady enters the ring to celebrate with Sexxy Eddy for some reason, or maybe to threaten her. I don't know the angle, is this suppose to be somebody that he knocked up? I'm getting that feeling but I'm not entirely sure. And if that's the case why did the lady even come into the ring to endanger herself. Also her panties are hanging out of her jeans in the front for some reason, that's something. The way they are treating her though definitely implies that there is some kind of pregnant angle going on.
Match 5: Tabernak de Team vs. E.D.F.B.O. (?)
*Sweet some tag team action, good to see some change up going on. So is Tabernak de Team rocking the lumberjack gimmick? That's cool enough I guess.
*No idea if I even have this stable's name right or why this table is so gigantic. I do like how Pinkie Sanchez just goes to the bar and chills the fuck out. So this is mostly just a brawl so far and that's pretty awesome.
*So this match ends up being nothing more than a filthy brawl and a lot of harassing a handicapped guy, but eh the handicap guy seems pretty cool with it so whatever. A real shitty way though to come back from the "half" if you will. I mean, I guess it's setting up an eventual angle/building to something long-term but in the short term, it seems really dumb.
*I also thought they called this match, but it actually seems to be going somehow.
*Both of these teams actually look pretty competent/decent when they actually wrestle. I think E.D.F. (whatever it is) seems to be a bit rougher around the edge, but Tabernak seems like they just get wrestling more.
*This match I think is getting more time than any other match has so far, either that or I'm losing track of time, it could be that.
*For apparently, only going with one camera angle - They still are doing a pretty great job of capturing most of the action and it looks pretty frigging spectacular.
*This match randomly decides to turn it into a second gear, and crank it up. And that is awesome.
*TdT works solid as team and does a lot of double team moves, that's all you want in a tag team.
Match 6: Thorsen Creed vs. Jeremy Leary
*Thorsen creed comes out using the Bull Dempsey theme (not really, but it reminds me of that for some dumb reason), Maybe because I gotta relate everything to WWE, which is stupid.
*There is a guy wearing a NFG:24/7 shirt, is he the biggest New Found Glory fan of all time? That's probably in no way what that shirt stands for, but hey that's what I'm getting from it.
*Leary grabs the mic and starts singing some Creed, Creed appears to have either skulls or ghosts on his tight. Either way pretty cool.
*"We don't do that shit" - In regards to countouts, I guess that's mostly a rule that I approve of. Countouts are stupid.
*I didn't see a lot of this match as I stepped out to get a beer, the little that I saw Leary looked ok and so did Creed. Didn't seem like much of a match.
*Leary's celebration is also ridiculous, you don't need to crowd surf after winning a single's match. Sorry.
Match 7: Ninjas with Altitude vs. Team Tremendous/Tremendous Investigation
*I've heard a lot of good things about Team Tremendous, I've never watched them and I only know that they have a cop gimmick, which seems like an easy gimmick to rocki in the indies but I love how one guy is full Bossman and the other is full Hawaii Five-o.
*So it's Dan Barry who is the cool one with the Hawaai Five-O look, HE IS WEARING A TACO SHIRT. A SHIRT WITH TACOS. No matter how great these other team is, there's no way that I can root against a guy wearing a taco shirt. That is probably the closest I can get to supporting a guy wearing a nacho shirt. And if you don't like nachos, then get the fuck out off this planet.
*"You Deserve It" chants for the ref just merely holding the tag team titles is a great sign that this crowd is at least pretty decent/cool.
*My bias for Dan Berry and Bill Carr, can't even control my feelings. I fee like Ninjas with Altitude is probably a pretty cool team, but come the fuck on Bill Carr is sitting in the corner and eating potato chips. CHIPS!
*Dan Barry CARTWHEEL What an athletic hunk.
*There's nothing wrong with the Ninjas with Altitude, they are competent in almost every way. They just don't pull me in like Team Tremendous does.
*Dan Barry can high fly enough. I'm down with that.
*Shynron's nickname is "The Spirit Dragon" - that's pretty cool though.
*I don't like how Shynron has a tail, is he a furry? I mean if so that's cool, but I also don't get it.. Or maybe I missed a tag (I think I did) and his partner is the one who is a furry.
*Oh ok, that makes sense. Fox has the tail. Sorry Shynron for talking trash about you.
-Bill Carr just wrecking fools is pretty cool too.
*This is a real solid tag team outing. There's a bunch of silly spots, but it somehow manages to work.
*Glad that Bill Carr/Dan Barry retained - the most entertaining tag team champs at least right now. Match was super decent though.
Match 8: Team Pazuzu vs. The Undead Army
*So I guess the main event is a ridiculous tag team spectacular. Never a fan of when tag team matches are the main event. But, I guess I hpe that this brings it.
*The Undead Army trying to do their best Leva Bates, not working. Matt Tremont, trying to hype of the crowd - definitely working. Power of that glorious Tremeont beard.
*Pinkie Sanchez doing crazy spots always rules.
*Ref spots are always ridiculous.
*And mostly an easy victory. I like the Team Pazazu build/future it's going for.
*I absolutely love this venue, it is the most divey thing that I think I have ever seen. There appears to be absolutely no seats, but there's a bar and an awesome stage so that works.
*I like also how the entrance works for this, just a simplistic curtain.
*The ring announcer's long sleeve zip jacket and cargo shorts combo makes me laugh.
*Mike Rotch on commentary is a truly fantastic thing on so many levels. He is absurd, crass, and fantastic.
*I guarantee you that if I was in this crowd, I'd also be ridiculously drunk and yelling some absurd shit.
*Intermission commercials for the snackbar, etc. This is a great touch. It's extremely hokey, but it works in all of the best ways.
*Got to love how the second half of the show starts with a note that it's presented with one camera angle and that SD Cards can get fucked. It's so ridiculous, and yet fits this promotion so well.
*Did this venue not have on their heat? Everybody in the crowd seems to be wearing long jackets/coats or even boots/scarves and more. There's a lot of people there so, you'd think it'd be warm but, apparently not.
*Still love how the people going to the pisser get in the way of the filming.
*I know that it's mostly a result of only having to run one camera or only being able to, but I kind of love how the one cameraman rushing around the ring to get into spots leads to a semi-Blair Witch experience.
*I laugh at how when the lonely cameraman doesn't know what to film, he is just like HEY HERE"S A MERCH TABLE.